Stoic

We have been going

out of our way

to avoid this

as best we can,

but words

aren’t such a simple thing

when we don’t

understand.

 

I give to you,

you give to me,

exchanges that supplant

the feeling

we know we need,

but we don’t

understand.

 

It’s been a while

since either one

of us has had

a really good break down.

It’s been so quiet

and peaceful

and numbing,

like we don’t know

that we’re on the way, now.

To an impasse,

to a long plateau,

that is the place

where good intentions go.

 

So I’m going to let my guard down now

and if you strike

the killing blow,

I trust you to be deadly.

 

Maybe this is what happens

when we build a wall

around our emotions.

We let the good stay stuck

inside our hearts and minds

and we don’t give a fuck

about who we deny,

as long as pain stays out,

as long as tears don’t fall;

protected behind these

barbed and sarcastic walls.

 

It’s all a joke to me,

until it’s not.

 

Silence,

is the trust killer.

Erase the dream

with a comforting smile.

I’m so sorry;

I thought I was protecting you

and saving myself,

at least for a little while.

 

So what pain may come;

let it come.

What we might feel

won’t be wrong.

The hurt we cause

by trying to be strong,

trying to keep the pain out.

 

I’m sorry,

that it has been this way;

I know that it’s not too late to change.

 

HG – 2017

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