An Ember of Regret

I understand now,

that I never understood a thing.

Your frustration

and your anger,

while at the time seemed inexplicable;

now make all too much sense

in the light of these tearful revelations.

 

I was always too busy.

Maybe… maybe I understood on some level

and in some sub-conscious attempt

to not have to share in this discomfort,

I focused more on my work

than on you.

I can’t help but feel now,

that that time was time I wasted.

 

I can’t help,

but to hold a burning ember of regret

in my outstretched hand towards you;

to warm you,

to heal you,

to give you life again.

 

For these are days now,

that all I see is my indifference to you.

That all I know of our relationship,

is distance

and avoidance.

Words never said meant promises unbroken,

but it was never your love that waned,

it was never your smile that faded.

 

I retreated,

while you fought for all we were.

I see now,

just how beautiful your vision of us must have been,

for it to be so worth fighting for.

I never lost sight of your beauty;

I lost sight of mine.

 

I never betrayed you,

but I abandoned you.

I watched our love live for a time

and watched as slowly

as roses lose their petals;

one by one;

you were gone.

 

I woke one morning,

either blessed, or cursed

with terrible understanding.

My life,

now empty;

revealed starkly

in the light of the light of the spring dawn.

In one moment,

I relived everything

and finally,

at the end,

I heard you whisper;

“I love you.”

 

– HG

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